To the Reckless Gambler,

You tried to double your odds, but you rolled snake eyes instead.

You never should have put me in a position to choose between being on your side or doing the right thing. Of course I told her what you said to me. Don’t you know me at all?  I am not that kind of girl.

“Why?” you dare ask.

Well, certainly not for enjoyment (believe as you will).  Neither was it easy to do.

All I wanted was neutrality.  If she had not requested answers, I would have stayed out.  But I keep my word and tell the truth when someone —especially in a position not terribly unfamiliar to my own recently— asks it of me.

For years, I’ve had recurring dreams of tornadoes, awaking to ponder if perhaps I fear chaos or death.  I finally realized that it’s my own presence; I am the typhoon.  It gave me no joy to be the force that blew away this facade because those gusts carried away lost smiles.  Maybe the next person will listen better when I say keep away.

I resent your efforts to guilt me for your own behavior.  You did the wrong here, whether you’ll admit to it or not.  You ought to know well the limits of acceptability for your partner.  Stop treating the truth like an option to be used only when advantageous.

Kindly refrain from trying to manipulate my empathy anymore.  It won’t work.  You have no right to ask me to lie or rescind my promises for you.  You may not take my integrity and I certainly owe you no more explanations.  Do not contact me again, I don’t care what name you use.

Furiously,
Amber