the first

I was standing outside

on a hill

surrounded by people

who were staring

at the sky

pointing up

shouting

“there’s mine!”

and

“there’s yours!”

enthusiastically

I looked up

everywhere, picturesque white clouds

the kind that look like luxury and comfort

but

I learned later in life

would actually only feel cold and slightly wet against skin

the beautiful clouds were speckled

with tiny black stars

like polka dots or ornaments

you knew which star belonged to whom

just by looking

I couldn’t find my star at first

then I saw it

it was set against a monstrous dark cloud in the distance

glowing

and there weren’t any others

with it

I ran away

afraid people would see the cloud

and

who I was

This is the earliest dream I remember.