I was standing outside
on a hill
surrounded by people
who were staring
at the sky
pointing up
shouting
“there’s mine!”
and
“there’s yours!”
enthusiastically
I looked up
everywhere, picturesque white clouds
the kind that look like luxury and comfort
but
I learned later in life
would actually only feel cold and slightly wet against skin
the beautiful clouds were speckled
with tiny black stars
like polka dots or ornaments
you knew which star belonged to whom
just by looking
I couldn’t find my star at first
then I saw it
it was set against a monstrous dark cloud in the distance
glowing
and there weren’t any others
with it
I ran away
afraid people would see the cloud
and
who I was
–
This is the earliest dream I remember.