slack

I wrote this some time ago, but did not publish it. I think a friend may need to read it now though. I promise it gets easier to put your insides back together, Sherri. <3 slack you never wanted to hold hands so we walked with a ribbon tied from my waist to yours when […]

parts of speech

You say you hate your voice and that makes me sad. I love your voice. Its uniqueness is one of the first things I noticed about you. I said I didn’t want to forget what you sound like but we both hate the phone, so we went on the first date. You know, you actually […]

Unconditional Love is Not Romantic.

I learned something: if you want a lover (and you’re under no obligation there), don’t settle for less than someone who understands and can provide your version of love. Here are some thoughts on mine. Unconditional Love is Not Romantic. Because compulsory devotion is not attractive. Nobody should idealize the notion of automatic dedication. If […]

Before I go

They have to go first, please. Sometimes I get angry with myself for having held onto them for too long.  They kept me afloat when storms raged and aglow when skies darkened. For considerable time I couldn’t have released them because they were effective life support. I sustain myself now. Fairness and pain no longer […]

Words

–You like your poetry with a bit of rhyme. So I threw some into here (kind of, sometimes).– Some prefer pictures. Others scoff, “They’re not deeds.” But words still mean so much to someone like me. Authors weave their text while extroverts talk lots. I’ll always be both if I like it or not. We’ve […]

Nightmare Fodder

I wake with a start and check on you instinctively; sure enough, you aren’t sleeping. You’ve ripped open the sutures again and your heart is pumping as strongly as ever, but leaking. I try to help you, but it’s so hard to sew raw flesh over pixels. Why bother with foresight if I’m useless? My […]

Accomplishments To-Date

Yesterday: Ate brownies for breakfast. Burnt a 7-minute frozen pizza (lol timers, who needs those?). Did not put on “real” clothes entire day. Found out my employer is being purchased by one I’d have never considered, having heard only horrible things. Office relocation – likely. Benefits nerfing/policy changes – unavoidable. Downsizing – possible. Annual raises […]

for better or worse

08.22.2015 – I dreaded facing this date for months. what I used to think was going to happen I do not recognize the girl in that January photograph – physically, emotionally, or otherwise. The end of the relationship was the end of her too.  I don’t mean this as hyperbole.  Nothing causes you to peel off […]

Change – an open letter

To the Well-Meaning Meddler, I must object to your recent attempt at intervention. There is a difference between busted and lost.  I am not “repairing” myself.  If anything, I’m upgrading.  Truthfully, I’m still figuring it out; but I do know that it’s not a restoration project.  So you can stop waiting. Just because I am […]

How to Be Alone

Before this past April, I had never lived alone. Nor has my brother.  Nor my sister.  Nor most of the close friends I polled today; two did for one month.  I do have a friend who told me months ago that she lived alone for about a year and it was an enlightening experience.  I […]

gratitude

to all of the allies and to all of the lovers to all of the screamers the supportive parents, the accepting colleagues, the good neighbors to the ones who glittered signs and the ones who challenged us (because the harder the battle, the sweeter the victory) to the first girl, who taught me that I […]

kill the perfectionista

She overtakes me slowly, but wholly. None, not even I, hear her approach, because she is remarkable, and exactly who everyone prefers. The Perfectionista has mastered life like science, and holds me under so I cannot revert it to art. She doesn’t mean to tyrannize me; she assumes consciousness when I am lost. Truthfully, I […]

fair weather games

I go out alone a way a ways away paying in distance for anonymity avoiding familiar haunts so as not to encounter ghosts a song plays —unstoppingly— if a girl falls into the woods, with no one there to hear, was she ever anywhere else at all, is she really even here? I dance this […]