You ask me who I am Because I asked you if you know Trying to ricochet my question As if I can use this language to define myself Something I didn’t ask you to do I could show you, maybe if you were looking But first reconsider the nature of the question Don’t you know […]
if you do not see me before I go here is what I hope you know first, it’s okay – it’s really okay whatever you didn’t get to say second, the bulk of my life was very good even if it didn’t end how you felt it should do not allow an ending to eclipse […]
the next time someone tells me “I’m an asshole.” I would believe you told me nobody knows how to be with Gandhi she had said “it’s exhausting to be around such a good person all the time” I won’t apologize for being ever again I know you want to be okay I, hope for the […]
What is worse than suffering? Someone you care about suffering. What is worse than someone you care about suffering? Being the cause of someone you care about suffering. What is worse than being the cause of someone you care about suffering? Your good intentions and very attempts at kindness being the cause of someone you […]
This morning I was driving to work at first lightPondering art in my morning commuteCommitting myself to attempting to paint some dayConsidering shapes and colorsSettling on a light yellow fade to light blue, punctuated with silhouettes I thoughtbecause of the paleness of the sky, perhaps I could create this drawingwith a sponge or a cloth rather than […]
Tornadoes. I dreamed about tornadoes at least once a week for years. I haven’t in a while, though. The vast majority were grim, panic-imbued, and notably in greyscale. In one, towards the end of the series, I realized I dreamt and willed my mind to turn the vortex into something else. It became a great, […]
I was dancing I love dancing and my dance partner was my romance partner at the time I said, “I love you” but the response was, “Oh, I’m not in love with you. You’re just the best person I’ve ever met and I don’t want to hurt you.” – When I told my partner about […]
I was laying down in my bed in the morning in half-woke torpor my mother walked in and gave me a perfume a tiny vial a gift when I sprayed it it granted my wishes I flew made people happy experienced joy – This is the third dream I remember. When I woke up from […]
I was standing in the doorway that led to the kitchens at my high school on a good day, when teachers sent us to lunch on-time, that’s where we may get in line on bad days, they let us out too late and we wound up in (and down and around) the adjoining halls I […]
I was standing outside on a hill surrounded by people who were staring at the sky pointing up shouting “there’s mine!” and “there’s yours!” enthusiastically I looked up everywhere, picturesque white clouds the kind that look like luxury and comfort but I learned later in life would actually only feel cold and slightly wet against […]
sometimes I almost remember what it’s like to be bigger than a room and smaller than a sigh scream it into a mirror this is who I am close a mouth swallow stardust someone left, someone’s here the observer took the wheel introduce an avatar being steered through chaos questions pour in if I wasn’t […]
when I fell in love with the mask it had been worn so long the wearer didn’t know it was there either I made many mistakes and overlooked the peeling at the edges her only mistake was underestimation she grew to understand a self beneath the mask but wouldn’t tell me outright hoping I would […]
A statistically unlikely miracle composed of stardust and inexplicable life force, and just one among billions of sweaty, hairy flesh-lumps of mostly water. In control of that miraculous, ordinary body, managing it with your very thoughts, and powerless over countless functions that it carries out within you daily. Loving, happy, brave, kind, selfless, and hateful, […]
It was fortunate that my heart broke in the coldest winter. I became an exposed nerve and did not want to face the full force of grief. There was nowhere to go with layers of snow turning the world into a constricted icebox. And I wasn’t brave enough to go nowhere alone yet. So I […]
I went searching for meaning. I looked under a rock and I found nothing. I looked behind a tree and I found nothing. I looked between flower petals and I found nothing. I looked inside a seashell and I found nothing. I read books at school and I found nothing. I worked hard at an […]
I wish I could say I forgot But I thought about it all week I remember you said I couldn’t be gay But I still am I don’t remember much of the day But I, of course, remember exactly what I was wearing I don’t remember much about you either But I remember what you […]
The perfect calm of early morning silence. The symphony nature produces when uninterrupted by mundane talk. The divinity of mundane talk when murmured by a good companion. The jingle behind authentic laughter. Capable, wise discussions between intuition and knowledge – and nobody else. Unending echoes of the triumphant roar after defeating demons. Confidence; she’s loud. […]
Before this past April, I had never lived alone. Nor has my brother. Nor my sister. Nor most of the close friends I polled today; two did for one month. I do have a friend who told me months ago that she lived alone for about a year and it was an enlightening experience. I […]
I dozed off and dreamed… I was pulling off pieces of my face (which sounds more violent than it looked). They were like tiny mosaic tiles or maybe chips of painted porcelain. In fact, it felt incredibly liberating to shed their weight. Unfortunately, the vantage point of the dream kept zooming away, so I couldn’t […]
quill takes flight 